About the Blog Name
I was in 4th grade when I encountered Jesus through a nanny we had, her name is Ate Rose Ann. I could still vividly remember the overflowing love I felt that time when I found out how Jesus sacrificed His life on the cross for someone who does not deserve any of that. From then on, I started my walk with Jesus. I told my classmates at a young age how Jesus changed me and my perspective in life. I feel like I have so much love to give to my family and to all of my friends. It is so amazing. I even told myself I would never let go of God's love. I would never be lost because I already found my way, and that is Jesus.
I have an amazing family. My parents are living together. My siblings are very talented and smart, I am so proud of them both. However, just like any family, we went through challenges and one of those is when my father was kicked out of his job because of political reasons. The entire time that my father was unemployed was the most difficult time for my mother and I've witnessed that. Money is tight and my father doesn't feel that good that he can't help out financially so sometimes, he expresses his frustrations to my mother. It was not a good memory but I've seen my mother so faithful and patient that she did not give up on my father and on our situation. My mother is the strongest woman I know and I hope to be like her one day when I will have my own family, as well in God's will and time. To cut the story short, after so many prayers my mother has told, my father found a job. I was still a kid at that time so I was only in the background and observing everything.
Fast forward, I am now far from my family. I have to study abroad because it's the only way to help my family and my siblings. The people who inspire me to be the best, the people who motivate me to keep going despite being exhausted, and frustrated, they were all so far away from me I feel like no one's beside me now. I feel so alone even if I am living with my grandmother. In addition, most of the time, my grandmother and I don't get along that well. This is the area in my life that I am struggling with and been praying about it.
The distance from my family, my relationship with my grandmother, my high expectations of myself, and a lot more started building on top of the other that I started drifting away from the way, Jesus. There's a year I stopped praying, I stopped the devotions and my journals or anything that I enjoy doing. I started holding grudge against people. I had no idea this was already consuming me and one day, I disobeyed my grandparents. What happened after was traumatic to me and to my grandparents. It was the turning point of my life that I've seen the negative consequences of what I did. It changed me for the worst.
As they say, change doesn't happen overnight. As much as I want to go back in an instant to the Jessa I know who is so full of joy, love, faith, and hope, it will be impossible. I will never be the same anymore. It will never be the same anymore. I've hurt people and I've been hurt already. Because of all of this, I can say I am a lost sheep. I was once one of Jesus' sheep in the herd but because of a lot of things, I drifted away without even noticing it. I'm gradually finding my way back to Him but first, I have to be willing to be guided by Jesus back to the herd and that is through reading His words and knowing His will every day. I've read the other day before getting out of the car about the parable of the farmer and the seeds in Matthew 13:3-8. Among those seeds, as embarrassing as it already is, I had no idea I was the seed that fell on rocky places until I went through all these hardships. I accepted and showed God's love when convenient but when challenges aroused, I withered because I still had no roots, so I died. Hopefully, someday I can be the seeds that fell on good soil wherein the good fruits are visible and beneficial to others and to the glory of God.
I have an amazing family. My parents are living together. My siblings are very talented and smart, I am so proud of them both. However, just like any family, we went through challenges and one of those is when my father was kicked out of his job because of political reasons. The entire time that my father was unemployed was the most difficult time for my mother and I've witnessed that. Money is tight and my father doesn't feel that good that he can't help out financially so sometimes, he expresses his frustrations to my mother. It was not a good memory but I've seen my mother so faithful and patient that she did not give up on my father and on our situation. My mother is the strongest woman I know and I hope to be like her one day when I will have my own family, as well in God's will and time. To cut the story short, after so many prayers my mother has told, my father found a job. I was still a kid at that time so I was only in the background and observing everything.
Fast forward, I am now far from my family. I have to study abroad because it's the only way to help my family and my siblings. The people who inspire me to be the best, the people who motivate me to keep going despite being exhausted, and frustrated, they were all so far away from me I feel like no one's beside me now. I feel so alone even if I am living with my grandmother. In addition, most of the time, my grandmother and I don't get along that well. This is the area in my life that I am struggling with and been praying about it.
The distance from my family, my relationship with my grandmother, my high expectations of myself, and a lot more started building on top of the other that I started drifting away from the way, Jesus. There's a year I stopped praying, I stopped the devotions and my journals or anything that I enjoy doing. I started holding grudge against people. I had no idea this was already consuming me and one day, I disobeyed my grandparents. What happened after was traumatic to me and to my grandparents. It was the turning point of my life that I've seen the negative consequences of what I did. It changed me for the worst.
As they say, change doesn't happen overnight. As much as I want to go back in an instant to the Jessa I know who is so full of joy, love, faith, and hope, it will be impossible. I will never be the same anymore. It will never be the same anymore. I've hurt people and I've been hurt already. Because of all of this, I can say I am a lost sheep. I was once one of Jesus' sheep in the herd but because of a lot of things, I drifted away without even noticing it. I'm gradually finding my way back to Him but first, I have to be willing to be guided by Jesus back to the herd and that is through reading His words and knowing His will every day. I've read the other day before getting out of the car about the parable of the farmer and the seeds in Matthew 13:3-8. Among those seeds, as embarrassing as it already is, I had no idea I was the seed that fell on rocky places until I went through all these hardships. I accepted and showed God's love when convenient but when challenges aroused, I withered because I still had no roots, so I died. Hopefully, someday I can be the seeds that fell on good soil wherein the good fruits are visible and beneficial to others and to the glory of God.
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