A Mess

Admiring the beautiful sunrise from inside of the car.

There is so much I wanted to say. There are so much feelings I wanted to let go of. I am drowning. I am a mess. When I say I am a mess, I am a serious mess. I am lost. My emotions usually get the best of me. I tried picking myself up. Three days ago, I tried avoiding doing the unforgiveable things. I hope I can be a living testimony in the future that it is possible to change for the better in the glory of His name.

I arrived early in the parking lot. I saw this mesmerizing sunrise. Golden rays peeking out, ready to face this new day. The sky's shade of light blue with streaks of clouds are so calming, as well. I tried this new habit of reading a Bible chapter before getting out of the car and the line that hit me in Matthew chapter 13 is in verse 58:

He (Jesus) did only a few miracles in Nazareth because the people there had no faith.

How amazing is it to always expect something good to happen in our lives when we, ourselves don't want to expect something good to happen? As I've mentioned earlier, I am a mess. I am a sinner. I've hurt a lot of people which gave me a hard time forgiving myself for doing so. However, Jesus reminded me through the said verse that I must have faith. If I want miracles, I must believe in God's capabilities of changing the hearts of people even those that have been numbed by pain.