Starbucks

 

"Here is something for you for all your help and hardwork, sorry that's not much."

This is what one of the pharmacists I worked with this month said as he handed me a Starbucks gift card. I was astonished but very happy that my heart would like to melt. I did not expect it so I thanked him several times and that I really appreciate the gesture. I agree with what he said that it's the thought that counts.

His name is Jeff but I call him Sir Jeff to be polite. He is in his 50s if my estimate is right. He has thinning salt-and-pepper hair and he describes himself as a grumpy man. His other co-workers also described him as such. When I hear this description, I get surprised because for the amount of time I worked with him, I don't really see him as grumpy. He and all the other people in the pharmacy have shown me nothing but kindness and patience. 

As I am writing this, I realized how much God has blessed me, that He has shown His kindness and mercy and His love in different forms. This time, He has shown His presence through other people. Sir Jeff is one of them. 

However, I still struggle with being grateful. I still have this very deep longing for independence or autonomy. I agree with Anne from the movie Anne with an E that without imagination, my life would be so miserable. What makes my life a little better is me imagining that I could do things I've been wanting to do like hang out with friends without sneaking out or whenever and wherever, drive to a beach and enjoy the sand and the sun, work out in a nearby gym or simply just stop by a cafe, read a book and order a Starbucks snack/drink. 

What a wonderful life would it be but life is still wonderful because of wonderful people.

Prayer:

Dear Lord, I am grateful for the blessings you've been showering me. However, I need your help Lord so that I can let go of the rein and let You be the driver of my life. I am badly struggling because all I have in my heart is jealousy and discontentment and hatred. These are all so heavy, I don't think I still have the strength of carrying them. I am exhausted, Lord God. Please help me, Lord God.