Someone to Talk To

 

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I wanted to talk to a therapist, not just any therapist but a therapist with the same beliefs that I have, someone who is also a Christian.

As ironic as it seems, our culture who is family oriented and very hospitable does not encourage going to any therapists because they will think you are crazy. You would think that a close-knit family would not push you to speak with someone, who is a stranger. Unfortunately, your very own family will be one of the reasons you would need a therapist, at least I do.

I've always admired my mom's faith so I never questioned catholicism because my mom is the epitome of pure heart and soul. She is so generous and patient and kind. When I got here in the US, that all changed. Someone who is very religious, doing all catholicism stuff is actually the one spreading gossip, judging people, and has some slight anger management issues. If that is how catholicism is, I don't want it. Once, I prayed wholeheartedly during a meal that I felt so good I've been myself for once. Later going home, she told me that if I wanted to change religion outside of catholicism, she will not allow me to enter her house. She does not want me to be like one of her nieces-in-law. I was so surprised by what she said. I could not believe people like her exist in real life. From then on, I stopped. I stopped expressing myself, I stopped being myself. Doing all these is exhausting. I have so many questions that only a believer could probably answer for me. I want so many things to be done from a believer's perspective. How do I do that in this house? 

I just wanted someone to talk to.