The Struggle is Real
I just saw in our class GroupMe the photos they had from the Sugar-Free Fall Festival. I kinda envy them because I love kids and this festival gives out sugar-free treats to diabetic children in the hospital. I was planning on volunteering but my grandmother would not let me. She said it is dangerous to drive at night so I said, okay I won't go but deep inside, I'm dying. Volunteering for any activities makes my heart leap out of joy because you are able to help out! This is just not the case for my grandma.
This is the reason why I am struggling with my relationship with her because we are just so different. I explained to her that I love kids and that I will be going with my friends Rosa and Jane but she just got upset and said that, "I will just be eating dinner all by myself then." I feel like everything I say is a personal attack to her but that is not the case. I love her so much. I care for her but most of the time, it is just so hard to love her especially that both of us are not on the same page.
Every time this happens, I wanted to burst out in anger. I wanted to talk back. I wanted to throw things I could hold onto but I couldn't. All I could do is cry silently, let my tears speak out for what I truly feel and pray and ask why? All I wanted to do is to help out, to volunteer. Is that a bad thing?
I don't know the answer yet, but the verses I've been reading from my morning devotions are telling me to have faith. That's why I've been patient and obedient because I'm holding onto these truths, God's promises. It is so difficult but hey, didn't Jesus got persecuted by His family and everyone else even though He did nothing wrong? He did that for us because He loves us so much and so, I need to share that love with my grandma, as well even if it's kinda hard. I just always have to be reminded of Jesus' love for me.
This is the reason why I am struggling with my relationship with her because we are just so different. I explained to her that I love kids and that I will be going with my friends Rosa and Jane but she just got upset and said that, "I will just be eating dinner all by myself then." I feel like everything I say is a personal attack to her but that is not the case. I love her so much. I care for her but most of the time, it is just so hard to love her especially that both of us are not on the same page.
Every time this happens, I wanted to burst out in anger. I wanted to talk back. I wanted to throw things I could hold onto but I couldn't. All I could do is cry silently, let my tears speak out for what I truly feel and pray and ask why? All I wanted to do is to help out, to volunteer. Is that a bad thing?
I don't know the answer yet, but the verses I've been reading from my morning devotions are telling me to have faith. That's why I've been patient and obedient because I'm holding onto these truths, God's promises. It is so difficult but hey, didn't Jesus got persecuted by His family and everyone else even though He did nothing wrong? He did that for us because He loves us so much and so, I need to share that love with my grandma, as well even if it's kinda hard. I just always have to be reminded of Jesus' love for me.
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